Ron, my husband
I admit sometimes it’s quite hard to figure out what I’m trying to say. It is hardest for my husband, who has to listen to my stories at the day’s end over dinner. We share the office in our house, sitting back to back at computers and every so often he will turn around to see what I’m reading on-line, or writing, or buying, etc. As he reads the text over my shoulder as I write, he often comments on my choice of words, or my sentence structure, or laughs at some big gaffe I have just made.
I do appreciate the help he offers me on this new quest of blogging, but at times it’s like a monkey on my back. I can’t quite shake him. He’s always ‘helping.’ I taught my son that there are three words one should never forget in life which are ‘do no harm.’ But now I have three new words that I often offer to my husband–’don’t help me.’ Yet his help builds my vocabulary, strengthens my grammar, clarifies my story telling skills, so I do my best to resist using my club to get him off. Actually, he is quite friendly–just aggressive in offering his assistance.
This blogging thing is really hard work for me. I’m not a linear thinker all the time. Often I hate to see my thoughts in writing. At times I have to journey along a windy path to get to the end of a story. As hard as I work to speak, it is just as hard to listen. Which is humorous because I think I’m quite a confident preacher. Go figure.
We’ll see as time goes on how well I live with my little primate. Did I mention, I love him?
But Gail, he only wants to help!
Drives me NUTS when people look over my shoulder when I’m typing and comment. I don’t usually get English language tutorials…
By: Carol Lenagan on December 14, 2008
at 1:46 pm
Gail, I’m glad to have finally found your blog (through Ron’s link to it). I have seen the monkey many times. Usually during dinner conversation. I think I understand its origin and, given that understanding, I have some sympathy for it. To know everything is to understand everything is to forgive everything.
I too have a tendency to be that monkey on the backs of those I love and live with. Perhaps it is something inextricably entwined with what made us choose to be mathematicians. Our strengths are also our weaknesses.
The good grace with which you handle the monkey is a great testament to you, and to Ron. Exasperation and frustration can easily lead to anger, meanness, and bitterness. It is not easy to keep the first two on one side of the wall and the last three on the other side.
But the wall is there, intact, and serves its purpose of separation. Its strength comes from the fact expressed in the last three words of your posting, and the reciprocal sentiment—he loves you. And also from your joyful approach to life.
Unexpressed frustration and exasperation will often transform itself into something more corrosive that eventually escapes into the open and is far more damaging in its new form. All couples must be creative in finding their modus vivendi. What works for one will not work for another. What matters is what works for your couple. It sounds from your posting that you and Ron have found a way to live with that monkey. That’s great! Good for you!
I look forward to reading more about food!
By: Paul Smith on December 20, 2008
at 6:50 am